This question has been on my mind for some time now: Why does misogyny exist? It is a complex question, so in turn it requires a complex answer. Misogyny, at a glance, does not make sense, but with a closer look at the psychology of the human mind we can begin to understand and correct the issue of misogynistic behavior.
“A tree, it is said, who’s branches reach up to the heavens must also have roots that reach down to hell”
Carl Jung, one of the most prevalent thinkers of the early 1900s, once wrote, “A tree, it is said, who’s branches reach up to the heavens must also have roots that reach down to hell”. It is necessary to understand your own capacity for evil in order to act in a way that approximates heaven.
I do not claim to fully grasp why misogyny is prevalent throughout history, but I believe in order to achieve equal opportunity between men and women it is necessary to understand the root causes. It is only through a coherent understanding of an issue that we are able to properly assess it and potentially correct it.
I recently read an Instagram post that a friend shared on her story. The first page of the post had the words, “NOT ALL MEN”, boldly illustrated by vulgadrawings. The remainder of the thread shed light on the fact that due to some men’s actions, women have to assume that all men might cause them harm. In the conclusion of the thread, Kristina Maione bluntly, yet with eloquence, states, “We know it’s not all men, but it’s enough men to keep [Women] in a constant state of fear”.
The post stood out to me because I have, in the past, made the claim that it is ‘not all men’. My intent in this claim was to defend the men who support women in the fight against misogyny, but as Kristina Maione’s wrote ‘it is enough men’.
In order to start to dissect why misogyny is prevalent throughout our societies, we first need to define what misogyny actually is. Meriam Webster defines it as: hatred of, aversion to, or prejudice against women. We can trace the root words back to Greek origins ‘misein’ and ‘gynē’, meaning ‘to hate’ and ‘women’ subsequently. These definitions use diction that subtly imply a conscious hatred towards women. For the purposes of this post, I would like to make the distinction that misogyny also includes the unconscious biases that have been past down/are generated by cultural/gender norms. Misogynistic actions/beliefs fall into a gradient: not all misogynistic actions can be attributed towards the hatred of women, but it is the more ‘subtle’ misogynistic beliefs that foster the environment for the hatred of women to grow.
It is also important to understand that misogyny is displayed around the world: it is independent of culture, race, religion, and geographical location. This strange fact is one that also must be considered when trying to answer this question.
Now that we have an understanding of what misogyny is, we can look at what some of the root causes are. As previously stated, it is the underlying misogynistic beliefs that can go unnoticed, but it is precisely these subtle beliefs that lead to the outward hatred of women. Therefore it is these underlying beliefs that we must assess in order to bring down misogyny.
Where do these beliefs stem from, and what actions need to be taken to limit the unequal treatment of women? These are the two questions that I am going to attempt to answer.
Across the globe women are seen as the primary caregiver; especially in the eyes of the child. Women give birth, where as men do not. In the early stages of childhood the infant is vastly dependent on the mother. In the case of infant males, they have to ‘learn’ to be masculine whereas infant girls do not. It is precisely in this stage of development where the seeds of misogyny are planted.
The landscape of child development is not what it is often portrayed as. To be a child is to experience emotions such as desire and anxiety in ways that are extremely intense. The necessary process of socializing a child is very taxing to them. We ask them to give up a lot; a child must learn to be obedient, to not take what is not theirs, to be respectful, and so much more. A child must come to terms that they are not omnipotent.
“At this point we must give separate accounts for the development of boys and girls, for it is now that the difference between the sexes finds phycological expression for the first time” — Freud [Three Essays on Sexuality] 1905
In this stage the young boy must individuate himself from the mother. It is a time when he realizes that, in Freudian terms, he can not ‘possess’ his mother. Now that the young boy recognizes that the mother is not the same as them, and that they can not posses them, the child than represses whatever attraction or desire to be with the mother that he has. This is the end of the Oedipus complex.
Susie Orbach, a celebrated psychoanalyst, says, “Because the mother is the person we are most dependent on, the rage and fear at being cut off from her or the terror of mother’s disapproval leads us to repress it. Girls grow up to be mums, so they internalize misogyny. But boys don’t grow up to be mums, so they feel thwarted and their power comes from feeling they can thwart back. For a boy it’s so confusing.”
This repression leads to fear, and this fear has deeply attached itself to the unconscious mind of men.
At the point where the young male individuates himself from his mother, he is in the pursuit of what it means to be masculine. It is precisely at this time that it is crucial for a young boy to have a strong paternal figure to look up to.
A statistic pulled from an article from the Minnesota Psychological Association tell us that, “The more opportunities a child has to interact with his or her biological father, the less likely he or she is to commit a crime or have contact with the juvenile justice system”. The presence of a strong father like figure drastically decreases the violence of the children they have influence over.
In the same way, it is my hypotheses that with the increase of a paternal figures presence in a young boys life, we will also see a decrease in misogynistic behaviors. Because the groundwork for misogynic beliefs are laid when the young boy is searching for what it means to be masculine, it is the fathers role to break down the gender norms of masculinity for his child. To be a man does not mean to exhibit the current cultural norms of masculinity.
I do not believe that misogyny is innate, but it has been hardwired into men at a young age due to the development of so called masculinity.
Men, it is our role to address the current state of our thoughts and actions with complete honesty and ask ourselves the tough questions. It is only through the recognition of our capacity for misogyny that we can change our actions.
It is also through this recognition that we will take responsibility to break down the gender norms of what it means to be masculine, and help raise young men to see women as equal and treat them as such.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Please feel free to leave a comment and if you ask a question I will get back to you.
Below are links to cited sources if you would like to learn more:
King Kristina👑 (@kristinamaione) • Instagram photos and videos
Most women say they regularly take steps to avoid being sexually assaulted | YouGov
Men hating women: A look into the psychology of misogyny | British GQ (gq-magazine.co.uk)
Father-Absent Homes: Implications for Criminal Justice and Mental Health Professionals (mnpsych.org)
What is Psychoanalysis? Part 3: The Oedipus Complex — YouTube